What Causes Fear of Success?

What Causes Fear of Success? Category: Music
"Geeze, I Thought He'd Be a Big Star by Now!"

I've met so many talented people in my career, who should've "made it", but didn't, or who should become stars, but never will. They have all the talent in the world, but something always seems to get in the way of their success - and it's usually themselves. They don't always consciously realize it, but they continuously set up roadblocks that block their own path. They're loaded with excuses.

Now why would they ever want to block their own success? Well, they really don't want to, but somewhere deep inside of them they feel they "don't deserve" to be happy or successful. That they're "no good"! That "something's wrong with them"!

Well where did these thoughts come from? It often came from many years before, when they were little kids. Though they don't always remember hearing things like: "You're a bad kid!" "Can't you do anything right?" or "You're no good!," "I'm gonna tell your mother what you did!", etc., etc., these words were often spoken to them. The words could've been spoken to them by a parent or grandparent who had no patience, or often "had a bad day", or were too tired to deal with a lively young boy or girl. Maybe it was even another relative or neighbor, or a nursery school teacher that they saw often. These people surrounded their daily lives and therefore affected them mentally in one way or another very deeply.

You see, between the ages of 1 & 5 everything we hear from people that are close to us affects us deeply. A child that age can't reason out that a person may just have had a bad day, or was drunk or stoned, or had a mental problem, or was not really into being a parent, or just liked tearing down at an innocent little kid, wanting them "to feel as bad as they felt!" Could You picture a three year old thinking, let alone saying: "Who does that damn, drunken slob think she's talking to?" Or, "Awww, he's just had a bad day at the office. I'm sure he doesn't really mean what he said."

Now why/how could something that happened so many years ago affect their lives today! Simple. Unless you've sniffed too much glue, every experience, every word we've heard is somewhere in that amazing computer we have called a brain. Proof: Remember that song You just heard for the first time in years, but You magically remembered all the words. Or You walk into someplace and the smell instantly reminds You of something from another time, another place. Or a face You hadn't seen in years You recognize instantly - along with remembering their names. Or a person's voice reminds You of another voice You've heard.

The examples are endless. It's all there - including all that negative stuff that they've heard over and over again from people that were important to them; that they thought loved them; who were their friends. [Hey, if they were their friends, who needs enemies!] And, somewhere deep inside they think something's wrong with themselves; that they don't deserve to be successful, that they haven't earned the right to be successful, that they are being punished for all the bad things they'd "done" when they were really just little kids being er, kids!

Simply put, unless these people have committed some horrible crime like murder they probably deserve to be just as successful as anyone one else - as long as, obviously, the talent is there. I bet, if they asked themselves if there was some logical reason why they haven't made it, they'd have no logical answer- maybe just some excuses.

Well, the past is the past, and today is the start of the rest of their life. Successful people don't come up with excuses! They don't let anything get in their way! They use their imagination to come up with answers, ways to make it. They don't ask "Why?" they say "Why not!" They don't ask "How?" they come up with a way. They find a way to make it- instead of a reason not to!

Take just a few minutes and think about it. Could this be something that could've affected someone's career you know. Could this also be something that could be affecting you and your career. Yes think about it...

... but not for too long. There comes a time to stop thinking about things and start doing something about it! That time is now!

(c) 2004-06 David J. Spangenberg